How can I keep the details of my divorce private?
Divorce is rarely a pleasant process, but some divorces become outrageous public spectacles that damage everybody involved. Once the details become public, friends, relatives, and neighbors can feel forced to choose sides, and the damage to someone’s personal and professional reputation can be significant.
How do you stop that kind of thing from happening in your divorce? Is there a way to keep things private? Here are some suggestions:
1. Be careful about what you say and do in public
First, you need to make sure that you aren’t inadvertently fueling any public fires. What you see as mild “complaining” to your friends or social media followers about your situation could be seen as a call to battle by your spouse. Nothing can blow up your privacy quite as quickly as a divorce where one or both parties take to social media with their story.
2. Ask for a confidentiality agreement
Generally speaking, it’s to everybody’s advantage to keep things publicly civil, so it never hurts to ask your spouse for some kind of confidentiality agreement. This is basically a private contract that can set the terms for the “public face” of your divorce and establish either a non-disparagement or non-disclosure rule (or some combo of the two) between you.
3. Divorce records are private
Most court records are public. This means that anyone can view and copy the documents filed with the court. However, as of April 1, 2012, divorce records are no longer public in Utah. They can be viewed and copied by the parties, their lawyers, and a few others, but not by the public. However, the orders and decrees in the case remain public. So, for example, if a motion to waive the 30-day waiting period is granted, the order is a public document. So, when filing a private document, the attorney must identify the document as private.
Finally, make sure that you seek out the guidance of an experienced attorney. Few people understand the nuances of divorce as well as someone who has ushered many clients through the process from beginning to end. Explain your concerns about your privacy and find out what tactics they suggest.
